Co-dependency is a relationship boundary issue. A co-dependent is addicted to “helping” someone, at the expense of their own needs and self-worth. You (the codependent) become so preoccupied with “fixing” someone else’s life that you loose sight of your needs. In essence, you are putting your life and happiness in the control of another person, by thinking it is necessary for another person’s behavior to change so that you can be peaceful and happy.
Your efforts to “change” the other person become enabling. It allows the other person to be needy and to stop taking responsibility for his/her own life. It produces chaos in both lives. Eventually both parties feel totally out of control and crazy.
These self-defeating behaviors of misplaced responsibility and inappropriate efforts to “control others” can be changed to benefit each and every person involved. Changing these “misplaced helping behaviors” will enormously improve your ability to have a genuine healthy loving relationship. It will produce calm and peace in your life where there was chaos and constant pain. It will allow God to direct the other person’s life, without your interference. In short…..it is a win-win situation for all.
This app will help you identify and correct your co-dependent behaviors and relationships. I sincerely hope this information will be the blessing to your life that it was to mine.
Saibra Dowdy, R.N., B.S.N., M.S.